Maxine
identifying the circumstances and actions that brought you to where you are is important. the work doesn't stop there though. taking steps to improve things for yourself and your community is an ongoing process. change is hard but it gets easier with practice.
"change is a verb" encapsulates the content of the album perfectly. tight riffs and encouraging words from someone putting in the work. <3
Favorite track: Perspective.
Why am I trying to prove
That I'm good enough
To the people who accept me as I am
To the people who wouldn't either way
What am I trying to do
Sitting here hoping that things will change
All I can change is what I do
I'm sitting here reading this book on prison abolition
'Cause I never really bothered to learn about the things I say that I believe in
No matter how much I think I know, I'm not immune to being ignorant
I'm so quick to talk shit
I'm so quick to say fuck that, and fuck this
Being dismissive doesn't make anything go away
Shouldn't I know this by now
I'm so quick to make decisions
After jumping to conclusions
It's okay to admit that sometimes I don't know my shit
There are people marching through the streets for police abolition
But right now I'm in bed lost in my paranoia and anxiety
I need to figure out how to bring myself back to reality.
People say this is the way
Well I think that it could be better
Well they won't listen to what I have to say
Why should I listen to them
So I tune out of reality
Living in this isolation
I think I know what's best for me
I get so caught up in my addictions
I keep looking for new ways
To make my feelings go away
But I'm not putting any effort
Into making myself better
I've got these seeds of revolution
That all those punk songs planted in my head
But they won't grow if I just fucking sit here
It's up to me to water them
I feel afraid, I feel shame
But if I don't walk through these feelings they will never go away
I feel exhausted, I feel weak
But it gets easier as I keep going day by day
I keep looking for new ways
To learn how to make a change
'Cause signing petitions and donating money
Won't fix everything
And it's not over 'till it's over
It's not over 'till you're dead
Every single day we all have to check ourselves
Don't let progress go to your head
I think I know what I'm doing but I don't
I think I know what I'm saying but I don't
I think I know where I'm stepping but I don't
I'm not paying attention, I'm not paying attention
I don't think I'm hurting anyone but I am
I don't think I'm breaking anything but I am
I don't think I'm doing anything wrong but I am
If I'd shut up and listen, if I'd shut up and listen I'd learn
If I keep doing what I'm doing
I'll never find the solution
I look around to see the mess that I've made
I need to show some more respect to this place
No one wants or needs to hear what I have to say
I'm not from around here, I'm not from around here
What makes me feel like I'm better than this
Thinking I'm not like all those other white kids
I still live in the comfort of white privilege
So I'll check my privilege
If I don't stop doing what I'm doing
I won't be part of the solution
Well I wanted to be punk
I thought it would make me cool
I thought I would fit in with the people
Who hate the things that I hated too
Well hatred comes from anger
And anger comes from fear
Deep down inside I'm fucking scared all the time
And I don't know what I'm doing here
I did the best I could with what I had
Well I think that I've reached a dead end so I take a few steps back
I focused so much on the things that I hate it became all I could see
I change my perspective I change my reality
Well I used to brag sometimes
About how I've been doing crimes
All this talk like I wanted to get caught
While I was just trying to survive
Well I created my own problems
So I don't have the right to complain
When I willfully refuse to do what I need to do
To end this self inflicted pain
I did the best I could with what I knew
Well I don't think it's working so I'll shut up and listen to you
I've focused so much on the people I hate I've forgotten who I am
Well I'm young and I'm scared and I'm doing the best I can
Well I wanted to fit in
I wanted attention
Now I just want to be left alone
I'm stuck inside my head
I can't get out of bed
I feel like I'm gonna die
I numb myself just to get by
I'm so distracted by my thoughts
I don't listen I just respond
I feel so under attack
I don't think I just react
I shut everything out
Staring deep into the ground
I think my voice is way too loud
I don't know what I'm talking about
I think I'm thinking way too much
I don't think I'm doing enough
I don't like what's inside of me
I don't like this reality
I'm spending all the strength I have
To fight myself in my own head
When I look up I can see
There's something bigger than me
What can I say
That hasn't been said
Have you been listening
To the people in the streets screaming fuck the feds
Or do you believe
In what you see on the news
Corporations, politicians
Making up stories to distract you
Forget everything they've said
They're lying, use your head
This is not a fucking game
Learn the facts, fight for change
Do you feel safe
Do you feel like whatever happens you'll be okay
Well I don't feel that way
Not everybody's gonna be okay
I know I might get hurt
I know things are gonna keep getting worse
But living in fear won't make a change
Living in fear won't make a change
Forget all the fucking talk
Remember what's been done and walk
This is not a fucking game
Learn the facts, fight for change
When I wake up
Feeling so out of touch
I could just stay in bed all day
Binge watching shows
And staring at my phone
Letting my body waste away
I'm not well connected to reality
It's easy to just check out when things get overwhelming
I see the scars
That dress my arms
And thighs remind me I've been healing
My life improving
Is about what I've been doing
Not just about what I've been feeling
Well I've been doing better every single day
I still feel like shit, but maybe that's okay
Well life is hard
But I've come so far
At least as far as I can tell
There's so much to do
And we've got no time to lose
So I'll shut up about myself
about
Some introspective songs about challenging toxic behavior patterns and making positive changes.
Restless, agitated no wave for modern times built around razor-sharp guitar and roiling percussion from Jane Doe Ensemble. Bandcamp New & Notable Aug 16, 2022